Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Week 3 Gender Moment Post
My gender moment this past week was quite obvious to me; it came as I was the only female among 4 men helping my boyfriend move! I understand that I am a small girl. I am barely 5’2” and probably no more than 120lbs if that. I’m not the strongest or most muscular girl I know either! Hence, my carrying of furniture or heavy/large items was already well restricted due to basic physical capability. However, I get the feeling that my gender came into play as well. There was an understanding that not as much physical labor was expected of me. Steve had his father, 13 year old little brother Tom and friend Jon helping with the move. I noticed they would direct Tom and me towards what they thought we could “handle” such as smaller drawers, couch cushions, and pretty much anything light weight. I realized that my physical ability, a grown woman, was likened to that of a 13 year old boy! I’m not sure if this was fair but I will say that this was one circumstance where I didn't mind adhering to a gender stereotype. I wouldn't like being considered weak, but I admit I did enjoy not having to work quite as hard as the bigger, stronger men did. I tried to pull my weight and helped as much as I could. Although, in the extreme heat I found myself watching them move the larger items (couch, tempurpedic bed, dressers) and enjoying a well deserved break. I felt I did my share and even helped clean the old house when everyone else was long gone. I didn't help him clean because it was “women’s work” as much as it was a way I was able to contribute within my physical parameters. I did feel a bit inadequate not being able to carry or move as much as they had, but also that they had such low expectations of me from the start! I feel this is not only based on traditional views of women, but that I in particular coincide with what they find to be “feminine” and hence am underestimated in such a masculine task as this was.
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I can understand some of your frustration. It is sad to say, but be thankful they let you help. I have had situations where I have been told that I would be in the way more than being helpful. If I wanted to be helpful I could bring them lunch of something. That day they were on their own for food and drink. I do not think guys in that situation though do that to necessarily belittle women per say. I think they have that macho image (which we read about in chapter 11) that they want to uphold. Think about how the media portrays men. Rough, tough, rugged, macho, and strong are some characteristics that were named I believe. If a woman can come in and do what they do (we know we can!) what more are they really going to try and impress us with. Sometimes it is fun to “play” the part and let it go. Like I said, at least in your situation, they included you and made you a part of the moving experience instead of trying to demean your character. I give them credit for that.
ReplyDeleteWomen and moving boy is that an experience lol. Since you are small I can imagine them looking at you and saying to themselves "I wonder what I can give her that she can handle." I would have felt the same way and I would have been happy to be small. Less work for me. Now do you think it was your sex or if it was your physical build? Had you been 5'8 and weighed about 170, do you think you would have gotten the same treatment? I think it was nice of them to consider your build. Can you image if they told you to move the fridge lol. Maybe you could have moved the fridge. You see I am judging your strength and I don't even mean too lol. I happy the move went well for everyone.
ReplyDeleteDana,
ReplyDeleteIsn’t it funny that before this class you wouldn’t have thought twice about your boyfriend’s move and the gender stereotyping. There are times, like this move, that we may use our gender as an advantage so I guess we are guilty of reinforcing the stereotype. Like you, I know my limitations regarding my physical strength so nothing would have been accomplished if you pushed the issue just to make a point and you ended up hurting yourself. Your blog made me look more deeply into the difference in physical strength between males and females and I think that what I found should make you feel better. “Men are 10 – 15% larger than women and 30% physically stronger especially in the upper body” (1). Weight, shape, size and anatomy are not political opinions but rather tangible and easily measured (2). There will be many more opportunities for you to express your disagreement when it comes to stereotyping the female gender so in your boyfriend’s recent move I see nothing wrong with you recognizing your limitations and helping where you could.
1) http://blisstree.com/feel/5-physical-differences-between-women-and-men/
2) http://www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/DifferencesMenWomen.htm
Thinking back I'm pretty sure that if I was a stronger, more muscular woman they would have treated me as more of an equal. Not that they belittled me in any way, I think it was just being realistic and I was grateful! The biological differences between genders as Paulette pointed out are real factors in gender assignments with data to support them. It does feel strange to recognize your limitations although I think they were based more on my individual physicality than my gender. I'd like to point out that the day before when we were talking about plans for the move my boyfriend joked that my job was just to be there and look cute. He thinks he's funny....
ReplyDelete