Week 2

I have a gender in communication moment virtually everyday when my boyfriend calls me pet names. After reading about these names in reference to being like a child, animal, toy or completely sexualized, I find it even harder to be ok with any of them. My boyfriend thinks the term “shorty” is funny and since I’m only 5’2” he teases me that I’m his “shorty.” It drives me crazy! I’ve asked him to stop, but now and then he still chides me with it. He’s also calls me “lady” or “miss,” for example when he texts hello he usually says “hiiii pretty lady” or “hey sexy miss.” It seems silly to me, as though it’s a play on the formality of the words. However, I can’t for the life of me think of a pet name I’d rather him call me! Most rub me the wrong way or define a woman in a way I’d rather not condone. I agree that these names often indicate territoriality and most make me feel uncomfortable or insecure, even if there are good intentions. He jokes that I can find something wrong with anything he says about me, so I wonder if I am being too harsh. (If he says lady I say oh because I’m older? If he says cutie, I think why not pretty or beautiful? Cute is for kids!) I think everyone has a different comfort level in their own lives for this type of language and it can be somewhat open to interpretation depending on the individual and their experience.